Today I'm going to talk to you about dedication
During my consultations and coachings I am really impressed by the number of people and especially women who devote themselves body and soul to others but do nothing for them.
To name just one, recently I had a woman in consultation, let's call her Jacqueline, who spent her whole life giving all her energy and more to others.
It's a behavior that I know well, having practiced it myself since I was 10 until I was in my 30s.
During those decades I gave everything I earned to feed people I thought were my family. It was when I started sacrificing the well-being of my own children for the well-being of these individuals that I realized it couldn't go on like this.
Especially since none of them had ever done anything to support me and none of them had ever said present when I needed it.
Individuals to whom I owed nothing in fact.
Getting out of this relationship took me years, a lot of effort and was very hard.
I had to cut ties with a lot of people and among them there were some to whom I had become attached having raised them since their birth.
This necessary break was made all the more difficult by the fact that many of them did not hesitate to threaten me and go so far as to attack me and the lives of my children.
I know how difficult it is to get out of such an unbalanced relationship.
It is all the more difficult as one tends to feel guilty.
To feel guilty because isn't there all that is more honorable than to give, to devote oneself, to spend one's life in the service of others, all the more so when these others are what one thinks be his family!
Well precisely not, because there are balances, the very balances of life, to be respected. Isn't life an exchange? And in any relationship, for it to be beneficial to both of you, it is fundamental to respect the energy of exchange.
Back to Jacqueline.
Why did Jacqueline take a consultation with me?
Because deep inside her there is this desire to take care of herself.
Who can not have this desire?
But between having this desire and taking action there is a world, steps to take and so many obstacles to overcome.
Jacqueline really wants to take care of herself and it's not the first time, but, at over forty, she has never allowed herself this minimum. And I know that for her own good, I Issanaa as a coach, it's up to me to get her to overcome this obstacle which means that at forty past, Jacuqeline has never allowed herself to take care of her -same.
Today, with me, when I tell her how much it will cost her to take my follow-up, her desire to take care of herself is then confronted with her behavior of devoting herself to others so inscribed in her history that questioning and doubt settles in her.
Jacqueline manages to tell me that she does not have the means today to pay such a sum and that she will have to organize herself to collect this sum.
Jacqueline tells me that she will have the sum in October and that she will come back to me at that time.
That's when I take up what Jacqueline told me a few moments earlier: she recently helped one of her sisters by giving her a sum that I think is comparable to what my follow-up would cost her.
I understand that what is happening at Jacqueline having experienced it myself.
Jacqueline doesn't have the means when it's for her, but she has them when it's to give to others.
I then ask Jacqueline how much she estimates the value of my follow-up.
Jacqueline replies that if she could pay this sum immediately she would do so without hesitation.
It reminds me of too many situations that I have experienced but today as a coach I am determined not to let Jacqueline go without her taking the step that will take her out for her own good of this behavior which only devalues her. .
I want Jacqueline to take a first action, an action that commits her, that forces her to consider herself, an action that values her.
I tell Jacqueline that she is not going to slip away like that, that I want her to take action today, and then she can organize herself to have the total sum to start her follow-up in October.
I therefore share my payment link with her and ask her to now put the amount of her choice corresponding to the gift she is giving herself today.
She does it, she did something for her, she valued herself.
This, for me, demonstrates her motivation and her determination and makes me love the idea of coaching her.
All this to tell you my Issa lights, my Issa watt, to stop sacrificing yourselves. To tell you that life is an exchange, that for your good as well as for the good of the one with whom you exchange, you have to there is balance, that the energy of exchange is respected.